Going mad

15 09 2011

Its hard to admit that you love your children but that you don’t necessarily enjoy spending 24 hrs a day with them.  Or I should say him. Baby Girl is really too young to be annoying but OMG is my young boy annoying.  Which is horrible to say the least.

He exhausts me. I’m not one for letting a kid sit in front of the tv so I have to converse with about trucks, jumps, spins, whys and don’t touch your sister, don’t wake your sister, because I said so.

It is mind numbing. My only interaction is with a 4 yr old. All my friends work, I don’t know any stay at home moms. I tried looking on meet ups for some mommy groups but there really isn’t anything that sparks my interest – I don’t want to be part of a yummy mummy or hot mamas group.

It should get easier next week when monkey’s preschool activities and classes start so it not all on me, but still its hard. By the time Mr.SM comes home, I’m bitchy, grumpy and just tired – which isn’t good for our relationship.

I think yesterday was my worst day yet. The weather is turning to fall so its grey and miserable, I had to get BG’s first set of vaccination shots, and Mr.SM had to be at an after work function.  As I read monkey his bedtime books, I couldn’t stop crying. My boy was being a perfect angel. What kinda mom am I that doesn’t like being around her kids. I just wish I knew what to do with him. How to interact with him and enjoy it.

Next week I”ll be hanging out in a library while he’s in preschool. Hopefully that will enable me to get some science done, which would help with the sanity. but really what I need is social interaction and I just dont know how to get.

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5 responses

15 09 2011
Alyssa

As far as I’m concerned, these feelings are completely normal! I mean, spending 24/7 with anyone can get trying, let alone a 4 year old whose life revolves around trucks, jumps, spins, and “whys”. I definitely find I value my time more with Evan now that I don’t spend every waking moment with him.

I hope that things get easier once he starts preschool!

15 09 2011
ScienceGirl

I hear you, after a few days with Dovie I am totally ready to see some adults for a change. But then in the evening after work there is nowhere I’d rather be than holding her. I hope you get some adult interaction soon!

16 09 2011
Cath@VWXYNot?

Sorry dude. I hope next week brings some relief.

16 09 2011
bean-mom

The months of maternity leave with my kids–day after day home alone with young children–rank up there with the hardest times of my life. I totally understand how you feel!

Even if the mommy groups in your area don’t *sound* like your cup of tea, I’d suggest checking one or two out just to see. One of the best things I ever did was join a mothers’ group in my area after my second child was born. It helped soooo much! Just having a scheduled playdate once a week–something to force me out of the house and meet with other mothers–was a sanity-saver. Four years later, I am still friends with these women and attend meetings when I can (though not as much as I’d like).

I hope the weekend brings some relief when Mr. SM can be around and take over for a little bit!

23 12 2011
12 months of ScientistMother « ScientistMother: raising replicates

[…] Sept: Its hard to admit that you love your children but that you don’t necessarily enjoy spending 24 hrs a day with them. […]

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