Its hard to admit that you love your children but that you don’t necessarily enjoy spending 24 hrs a day with them. Or I should say him. Baby Girl is really too young to be annoying but OMG is my young boy annoying. Which is horrible to say the least.
He exhausts me. I’m not one for letting a kid sit in front of the tv so I have to converse with about trucks, jumps, spins, whys and don’t touch your sister, don’t wake your sister, because I said so.
It is mind numbing. My only interaction is with a 4 yr old. All my friends work, I don’t know any stay at home moms. I tried looking on meet ups for some mommy groups but there really isn’t anything that sparks my interest – I don’t want to be part of a yummy mummy or hot mamas group.
It should get easier next week when monkey’s preschool activities and classes start so it not all on me, but still its hard. By the time Mr.SM comes home, I’m bitchy, grumpy and just tired – which isn’t good for our relationship.
I think yesterday was my worst day yet. The weather is turning to fall so its grey and miserable, I had to get BG’s first set of vaccination shots, and Mr.SM had to be at an after work function. As I read monkey his bedtime books, I couldn’t stop crying. My boy was being a perfect angel. What kinda mom am I that doesn’t like being around her kids. I just wish I knew what to do with him. How to interact with him and enjoy it.
Next week I”ll be hanging out in a library while he’s in preschool. Hopefully that will enable me to get some science done, which would help with the sanity. but really what I need is social interaction and I just dont know how to get.